Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
