Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The air taste purple.
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