You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
