Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
