playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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