I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
