therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
