he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
