How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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