All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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