I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
