Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
