You just made me feel so damn special
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
