so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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