also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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