Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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