And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
