the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
