the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
