I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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