You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
