all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
