He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
