spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
