We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
