Porn is love you can see.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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