there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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