I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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