I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
