on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
