I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
