pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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