Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
