Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
