Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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