I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
