my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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