I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
