she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
