The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
