So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
