Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
