My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
