If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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