you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
