I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I party with great urgency now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
