Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
