Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize