I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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