elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
